Posts

Tom Cruise had no idea you could watch porn on the internet

Sometimes the joke just fails

LPT:If you find a hair in your food , heavily salt it before sending it back to the kitchen to make sure you get a new order

Bank robber gets cold feet, then tries to open account: police

Hold on

LPT: If you have a problem with attention, and you are using You Tube for learning, when watching videos that involve speaking increase the speed to 1.25x

Golf is played with one of the smallest balls used in sports, but requires the largest amount of land to play

All it takes to win McDonald's Monopoly is a massive, country-wide criminal conspiracy

They are everywhere, everywhere!!

LPT: In the work area, although constructive criticism is needed for new employees, don’t forget to provide ample positive feedback so they know what they’re doing right. It’ll encourage better work ethic, productivity, and boost moral.

Younger people will never know the embarrassing horror of dropping your phone and having the back cover and battery fly across the room.

Obese' tourists from US and UK blamed for crippling donkeys in Greece, activists say

I hope this generates a slightly faster exhale somewhere on Earth.

LPT: If you are in need of a bottle opener but don't have one, check your manual can opener. Most manual can openers double as bottle openers.

Canada Dry sued over lack of ginger in ginger ale

A lesson we all learn.

LPT: Be f*cking nice to workers. Smile, Say "Hello" and "Please" because they're humans just like you and also every worker has some hidden something that he can give you(Free cup of water, Coffee, Product). TL;DR - Be kind, Karma will be kind back.

Babies literally suck the energy from their moms to become more powerful

Game of Thrones' Riverrun Castle is on the market – for less than a flat in London

some reasons why

LPT: If a company claims to "work hard, play hard", its just the first part.

Because of evolving bacteria and bacteria defenses in our body, travelling to the future could lead you to death, and travelling back to the past can kill everyone.

Bankrupt Contractor Will Get $5.5 Million For Not Printing 2020 Census Forms

new template everyone

LPT: Do plogging. While running, pick up the trash that you see on the path. It will be a good cardio exercise, plus you will help the environment.

People watch their dog chase his tail for 10 minutes and thought “Wow, dogs are so easily entertained”. But they don't realise that they just watched their dog chase his tail for 10 minutes.

Judge orders man who knocked over port-a-potty to shovel manure

Me in a nut shell 😂

LPT: Keep your pet's treats in the trunk and bring one in with you after work so they think you were out hunting for them all day.

Indian telecom chief challenges hackers, gets hacked immediately

Change.org

LPT: To listen to music on your phone via YouTube in the background, use the Chrome browser, go to the video, and request desktop site. This will allow you to listen anywhere on the phone.

Someone turned 11 years old on 9/11/01 and got the shittiest birthday candles ever

Shark disguised as baby stolen from aquarium in pushchair

Germans, am I right?

If the first few zombies of the zombie apocalypse were all killed, nobody would believe the person who killed them and he'd go to jail for saving the world.

Putin: Jews might have been behind U.S. election interference

Every assignment

LPT: If you work from home, wake up and leave the house for a quick walk first thing in the morning. You’ll be much more productive when you get back.

Having someone set as your phone background is the modern day equivalent of having a locket with someone’s picture in it

Viral video of woman being punched in the face by alleged sexual harasser sparks probe

The music we listen to

LPT: if you have a lot of unused space in your refrigerator put gallons of water in there. They retain the cold better than the empty air and help your fridge run more efficiently.

Failing a test is usually an indicator of how bad a student is doing, but it can also be an indicator of how bad the teacher is doing

Campaign aims to change borders of Turkish province on Batman logo

osteoporosis!

LPT: When eating ice cream also sip a glass of cool or luke warm water (not ice water) between spoonfuls. It will simultaneously clean and warm your palate and tongue so you can taste the ice cream more, as otherwise the extreme cold will dull your ability to taste it.

Country music is farm emo

Ginger ale doesn't actually contain ginger, lawsuit alleges

Didn't see this here before

LPT: If you are stuck between two options flip a coin on it. Either you will go with what the coin suggested or realize that you actually wanted the opposite outcome.

The goal of good parenting isn't happy kids; that's just an occasional side effect. The point is to eventually have happy adults.

Centuries ago, a person who could claim to have traveled the world was considered legendary. Today, traveling the world is the pastime of retired people

LPT: If your AC unit goes out, then it could just be your capacitor which usually costs less than $20.

Canadian man legally lists gender as female to get cheaper car insurance

Duckpower.

Adulthood is realizing that with $5,000 salary you won't have $10,000 in 2 months

Adolf Hitler penis abnormality linked to flame retardant exposure

LPT: Next time you come home from work or the gym starving, drink a glass a water first and wait 5 minutes before eating. You will be amazed how much this will decrease your hunger and eventually shed some weight off over time.

Can’t make this shit up

If you have 2 choices then remove one, you have 0 choices

LPT: When you have to transfer a large amount over digital payment platforms like Venmo, Zelle etc, send a minimum amount first, confirm receipt and then transfer the rest. Better to lose $2 to the wrong person than $20.

Urban diet leading to fat, hyperglycemic raccoons, new study finds

What a smooth criminal ☠️

For all we know, the asteroid that wiped out the dinosaurs could have actually been a UFO crashing...and we're the aliens.

Canadian Eatery Puts Tiny Chairs Around the Little ‘Table’ That Comes Inside Pizza Boxes

LPT: Make the habit of using questions instead of judgement on scenarios where you’re trying to express your opinion

The Deep State

LPT: if you got a hole in a sock and can't fix it "on the go", just switch them around. The Toes won't be at the same place and the hole will not get larger until you get home.

US Congress candidate Denver Riggleman exposed as 'Bigfoot erotica' devotee

Set achievable goals.

The acronym for "Social Anxiety Disorder" is "Sad".

LPT: If you reset your password on a website and they send you your actual password, stop using that website.

Jeremy Hunt describes his Chinese wife as Japanese in 'terrible' mistake

A lot of rappers today look like they just fell asleep at a sleepover and had their friends draw all over them with sharpie

Conspiracy Theorist Alex Jones Still Thinks the Government Is Making Frogs Gay

Perfectly Balanced

Entire North Carolina police department suspended after arrest of chief, lieutenant

LPT: If you ask people to take their shoes off before coming in your house, have a chair or stool by the front door.

It's really not

The 2nd Dimension is probably populated with Flat Earthers that have to deal with Line Earthers.

LPT: it's easier to catch mosquitoes with one hand. Using both to slap them dislocates air and helps them escape

U.S. Political Candidate Called Out For, Uh, Posting Bigfoot Erotica On Insta

Hate when this happens...

Mass. man stopped on Maine highway driving scooter and using cell phone as headlight

LPT: Whenever you meet someone who has some attribute significantly out of the norm (height, strange name, hair color or style, etc) don’t comment on it immediately, regardless of how clever you think you’re being. They’ve almost certainly heard your witty remark before.

No liquor? Just use whiskey.

In one generation we went from, "watch your mouth around grandma, she's from a different time," to, "Don't mind all the stuff grandma says, she's from a different time."

Lawyer says Moun Vernon School District must allow after-school Satan club

LPT: everytime you want to call someone pretty (handsome, gorgeous, etc) stop. Instead pick a specific feature or personality trait to comment on.

Corpse Catcher

Introverts enjoy people-watching, while extroverts enjoy people watching

LPT: If you find yourself in a conversation about a sensitive topic that isn't going anywhere, ask your interlocutor, "what would change your mind about this?" If the answer is, "nothing," disengage.

Pennsylvania man convicted in death of daughter from bullet that hit him first